Stupid Cleric fails to see reason

Posted on April 27, 2010


A Swahili saying goes, “Duniani kuna watu na viatu.” Which translates literally to “There are people and shoes in the world” in English. Actually am not sure if that saying actually exists or I just made it up. So, apparently some cleric in Mandera has decided to ban DStv viewing in public places. What?! I feel like going mental and ballistic at the same time when I saw this! What is he thinking? Is he an Al Shabaab mole from Somalia? or is he just plainly stupid! This man is a Big Pointy Shoe! a Boot in fact!

I would like to go on record saying that “Dstv is the best thing that has happened in Kenya since sliced bread!” Especially in the North Kenya Frontier (mostly areas of Kenya above the Equator). These areas are that you would describe as “Extreme Survival in the African Wilderness.” Long droughts and gusty desert winds are mostly your good friends most time of the year. The sunshine is is so hot you would think some mean dude purposefully decided to direct a beam of hot solar directly on your head (Think Graves’ orbital mirror satellite (dubbed “Icarus”), the ostensible purpose of which was to harness solar energy and focus it to areas of earth to provide day and year-round sunshine for crop development, in James Bond’s Die Another Day). Kenyan TV services’ signal is mostly patchy and unclear. In some areas, you would have to climb some sort of a hill (or a tree) to be able to receive Safaricom’s or Zain’s cellphone service signals.

Then came DStv; Mission – Provide ultra clear TV images at a cost of around Ksh5000/Month (last time I checked which was last summer). How many people in North Kenya can afford this figure? Only a handful; a few blessed enough to afford to have the service in their homes and other few who decide to get the service and build a pay per view business around it. Add to this scenario the fact that the following of the European Soccer Leagues in Kenya is near fanatical. In fact, the sole purpose of the existence of DStv in these places is 1) Soccer viewing and 2)MNet Movies viewing (mainly). I think it costs about Ksh20 to watch a soccer match at these public joints. Now, add to this scenario the fact that 90% of the Youth in these towns are unemployed (Ok, I made up the number but you get my drift). What other way would you rather pass your Saturday afternoon, tending goats or enjoying a game between Arsenal and Man U on DStv? That was a rhetorical question because there is only one option there for most people in Mandera or most parts of Kenya.

So, I ask myself, did this idiot cleric think this through before he decided to make a decision that he has no authority to make or is he just plainly dumb? Maybe he was paid by those War Lords in Somalia to propagate a little of their madness into Kenya. This is one of those times when some religious leaders stoop too low and use religion to meddle in people’s lives and in the process bringing out the idiocy that exists in their heads. What alternative did he give to the viewers of DStv in Mandera? pray instead? (am sure a lot of them can manage their time with or without DStv). No thanks! As the video clearly shows, many soccer fans would rather cross over to Ethiopia in search of DStv rather than accept this stupid decision. I like this new trend about some Kenyans – Putting stupidity at its place at all costs!

I am surprised that I actually spent time writing about this but I guess I needed to vent my spleen at the stupid man.

Tagged: ,